I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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