scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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