Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
