Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
