I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
ugly people sure do ruin things
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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