At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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