I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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