I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
