On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He better not be in your backpack
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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