i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
