i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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