Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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