The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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