A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dick very happy bro
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
