Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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