just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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