Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
