what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize