Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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