Dual....:-)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
