Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
