The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she woke up with a sticky ear
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
