I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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