I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
