my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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