There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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