do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
