I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
