My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
