New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
