bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
