Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My cat gives me a boner
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
