I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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