Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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