Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
