Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
