i think i have herpe
just one?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
