well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
