i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
