last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
