Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
