We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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