Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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