You just made me feel so damn special
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
