I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
