how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
