Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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