you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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