Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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