great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
