I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
