I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
